Sunday, October 08, 2006

Pucker, Pucker, Pucker

Yeah, if that was the least surprising game of the college football weekend I'm not sure what you've been watching the last few years. Michigan strolled past the Spartans 31-13. Let's recap, shall we?

Michigan State's stupid penalties? Check. They came through in fine form again yesterday. What was the final total? 11? I particularly liked some of the dumber ones, but it's hard to choose a favorite. Was it the late hit out of bounds on 3rd down about 3 seconds after an incomplete pass? Maybe it was the 3 or 4 times they jumped offsides when Henne backed out to call an audible. It's like asking who your favorite child is when discussing boneheaded MSU penalties.

Michigan State's "special" teams Check. Do they ride the short bus to school every day? The missed field goal was nice, but not quite as nice as when they decided to return the kickoff from the endzone after thinking about it for 3 or 4 seconds. I'll give them a free pass on the running into the punter penalty since it allowed us to watch Zoltan the Destroyer unleash a 64 yard bomb.

John L. Smith's "coaching" Check. Nice use of a challenge on Michigan's first touchdown. Your mastery of the system is something to be worshipped. Then again the way his defense play it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

Drew Stanton as the loveable loser Check. The kid who proclaimed that he was born to beat Michigan and it was the University of Puke etc. was once again left hanging his head in despair having finished his career 0-5 against the Wolverines.

Jehuu Caulcrick as Stanton's sidekick in stupidity Check. This kid decided he'd proclaim that Michigan's rushing defense wasn't that tough and it wouldn't be much of a challenge was held to 29 yards on 14 carries. Here's some news for you J-Who?: Michigan is still #1 in the nation in rushing defense after throttling you.

Do I even need to recap Michigan's offense? It's really the exact same thing they have done for weeks. Come out gunning in the first half with a dynamic balance of rushing and passing while opening a big lead. Then they ease up in the 2nd half and just run the ball while coasting to a victory. Mike Hart got 122 yards on 22 carries. Chad Henne was 11/17 for 130 yards and 3 TDs and 0 INTs. Mario Manningham scored on 2 long touchdowns (again).

Anybody with a pulse in Michigan spent the 2nd half of the football game watching the Tigers dismantle the Yankees.

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